What If
\nBy Sam Wildow<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know why you insisted on leaving the party so early,\u201d Darla said.\t\u201cIt\u2019s only midnight.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI have an eight o\u2019clock class tomorrow morning,\u201d I said, shrugging.
\nOur heels clicked on the black top pavement as we scuttled as quickly as we could across the frigid campus.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat didn\u2019t stop you last week when you were debating Kevin from your Astronomy Club about whether or not Shakespeare was actually worth reading.\u201d Darla hugged her arms around her waist. <\/p>\n
\u201cI was trying to prevent Kevin from being corrupted by SparkNotes.\u201d We passed by the Arts library as I glanced at the night sky, glowing slightly red from all of the lights. \u201cI\u2019m sorry I found that more interesting that a bunch of drunk people attempting to do flips and then freaking out when they end up halfway out of a window.\u201d We were a couple blocks from our dorm room in the Honors Tower.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know there\u2019s a campus therapist that you can see about that, right?\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you know there are also Alcoholics Anonymous meetings here, right?\u201d I winked at Darla. <\/p>\n
\u201cYeah, their refreshments suck.\u201d Darla chuckled, tossing back her coffee brown curls. \u201cSo why did I have to leave the party, too?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou wanted to make sure that I got back to our room all right.\u201d I gave her the sweetest smile I could conjure up. <\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t give me that cutesy look, Erica,\u201d Darla said to me. \u201cYou would have been fine on your own.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cYou know I don\u2019t like to walk by myself this late at night.\u201d I ran my fingers through my bob of hair, resting my palms on my ears for a couple seconds to warm them from the biting night air. \u201cPlus, I just saved you from falling out of a window. You\u2019ll thank me later when your boyfriend is texting you later to come take him to a hospital.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cWell, if you ask me, I don\u2019t think it was dead old Shakespeare keeping you out until three in the morning with Kevin.\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cI guess I shouldn\u2019t ask then.\u201d As we approached the building of Architecture and Design, a guy in a black corduroy blazer walked out the door a few feet in front of us. <\/p>\n
\u201cLucky coincidence,\u201d Darla said, smiling slyly and nudging me. <\/p>\n
I elbowed Darla as Kevin heard us and glanced back at us. When he recognized us, he paused. He smiled and nodded his \u201chello\u201d to us when we reached him. <\/p>\n
\u201cGood, a new chaperone for Erica,\u201d Darla said, stopping and redirecting her body in the opposite direction. \u201cYou think you can walk Erica back to our dorm so she doesn\u2019t fall into a gutter or run into a building?\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cHey now,\u201d I said, \u201cthe gutters are huge here.\u201d <\/p>\n
Darla rolled her eyes at me, while Kevin smiled. <\/p>\n
\u201cPoint taken, I\u2019m on it,\u201d Kevin said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks!\u201d Darla said, walking briskly back towards the party. <\/p>\n
Once she was pretty well off, I turned and gave Kevin a shy smile as we began walking again. We made small talk \u2013 covering the sporadic Ohio weather and the latest episodes of Glee \u2013 until we reached the Honors dorms, pausing outside of it. We fidgeted on our feet next to a bench and a flickering street lamp, exchanging a unanimous \u201cI had fun the other night\u2026\u201d I felt my cheeks heat up as he suggested that we should do it again \u2013 not just sometime, but soon.<\/p>\n
Then I saw it. In that bit of light from the street lamp reflecting off of his murky pond water eyes, I saw everything about us \u2013 how we would have our first clumsy kiss outside his dorm room, after which I would not let him walk me back to my own dorm as I would not want him seeing me dashing giddily about campus; I would eventually catch my foot in a crack in the pavement and smash my face against the feet of some old, dead president of the university that reminded me of Hitler, if Hitler had been fat, American, and made of concrete. I saw how I would get a concussion and a broken femur from the car wreck on our first date. I also saw how a week later I would still go with him to Olive Garden, where the waiter would mix up my order, so I would have to go to the hospital again after having an allergic reaction to the shrimp in my pasta. Each time I would have a nurse who would look exceptionally like Matt Damon yet would be so flamboyantly gay that the combination of the two would make me want to cry. <\/p>\n
My mind fast-forwarded through his two proposals, our wedding that would end with a visit from the fire department, the birth of our third child Henry where I would break Kevin\u2019s hand, the first time our daughter Darla would get arrested, four high school graduations and one \u201cI\u2019ll just get my GED\u201d \u2013 throughout the scattered times I would hide away in our closet and wonder, what if\u2026 <\/p>\n
All of this he gave to me from the dilating of his eyes, continuing to do so even under the brilliant shock of a cheap street lamp stabbing them with a sudden spark of light. <\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you say, Erica?\u201d Kevin asked.<\/p>\n
My tongue froze. He had asked me to coffee. Or maybe he had asked me to help him study \u2013 or maybe that was all code for wanting to go out, get drunk, and then have unprotected sex on the roof of the library or under the bleachers of the football stadium. <\/p>\n
I was not sure if I was ready for this. <\/p>\n
\u201cErica?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSure,\u201d I said, swallowing down my worry. \u201cCoffee tomorrow, right? At three?\u201d <\/p>\n
\u201cSounds like a plan.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
What If By Sam Wildow \u201cI don\u2019t know why you insisted on leaving the party so early,\u201d Darla said. \u201cIt\u2019s only midnight.\u201d \u201cI have an eight o\u2019clock class tomorrow morning,\u201d I said, shrugging. Our heels clicked on the black top pavement as we scuttled as quickly as we could across the frigid campus. \u201cThat didn\u2019t … Continue reading What If<\/span>